First, I found a quote that would be most suitable here. One that expresses what I'm feeling beyond what I can express myself.

"Did you ever hear a song on the radio and think, oh I am so going home right now to download it?" I nod. He continues. "And then you do, and theoretically you should be psyched, right? I mean, here is this song you heard and wanted to - you know- own, right away. But then...Then you listen to it again and it's like the magic isn't there. You thought this chord or that lyric was so incredible, but then it wasn't."

There are a few minor differences here. He's talking about a girl and I happen to be talking about a boy.

>>I wanted this. I couldn't imagine anything more. The rush of my skin, the sound of his voice....but - nothing. I don't feel anything. My skin doesn't grow goosebumps when I call his name, my heart doesn't jump or flutter when I hold his hand, and my voice doesn't get caught in my throat when I'm near him. I feel like my heart stopped feeling when we tied the knot. The day the title came into play, the magic was gone. It was as if it had evaporated into thin air. Where'd it go? Gone. Away from me.

I think we'll know when we find the right ones. When the conversation is effortless, yet meaningful. When your hands touch, yet an electric current fuses through your bodies, making you feel like one. And when you lock eyes. A soft smile playing at your lips; your heart will flutter, your skin will tingle, and the moment will feel perfect. Until then, we're just a bunch of teenagers wanting nothing more than a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" so our friends think we're cool. It's sickening. I feel like I'm being used as a title. I don't want that. In fact, if I thought it was right, I would take that title right off my main page and start from scratch. I want so bad to find someone to start that scratch from.

We're young. No wrinkles mark our faces, no sun spots align our skin, and no gray hairs. We're coming into the world head first. None of us know exactly what to expect. We feed off of others, watching their every move and copying it almost exactly. We're all just mirrors. Visions of someone else wanting to be more. We don't know what love is. Yet we all say it. Sure, we love our parents and our siblings. But do we know the meaning of true love? No. It's rare to find. And I'm not talking about a fairytale. This love is different. Behind the scenes, there's blood, sweat, and tears all the same. There's pain and heartache. But from the beginning, there's a solid foundation. You know it's true. You trust the person completely and let him in. You don't look back, nor do you want to. You find every moment perfect and wish that it will never end. But until I've found him, I'm a loveless teenager, wanting nothing more than to complete school with A's and B's.