Flying in Consolation

Wings. Earthly, beating, feathery wings. Flapping and swirling the dry air in spirals, following deep into the ground. Crushed beneath the foot, molded to the particles of earthen rock. Dust covered, but illuminated by the buttery sunshine.

I'm talking about love.

I don't think we can explain it until we've experienced. I've experienced something so close, I feel the need to spill everything out on this black word document. I don't know much. My years are young like the feeling that has taken me other, soul and body. I feel like I can't breath. I can't think. My thoughts are clouded, shielded by some unknown force, pulling my body underneath a sheath of onyx painted waters. Each turn within the ocean is unexpected. New. Fresh.

Sure, there are very beautiful fish swimming all around me. Their scales shine blistering blues and soft purple glitter bounce off their scales, blinding the average eye. But I don't mind. I don't see them. I can only see him. He's unlike anything. He's there. Always. I push him away, wanting nothing to do with love and these stupid, made up relationships. But he's not moving. Oh, how I wish this was true.

I want him there. I want the butterflies to fill my stomach. The scarlet blush to return to my cheeks. The droplets of sweat to bead my forehead and palms. I want him. He's unexplainable. It's as if he's the ground and I'm the tree. I'm rooted to him, but when someone pulls me away from him, I can't live. My life doesn't have a purpose without the soil. Without the nutrients to grow, I can't go on. I need those. I need him.

I think I've fallen. Fallen so hard there's no way to get back up. I fear I'm letting myself go. I'm letting my old me fall. I brushing away the past and sweeping up the remains. I know only good can come from this. I let him in; in my life with these meaningless problems, but he's there. I want so badly for his hand to fit perfectly in mine. But time will only tell how well those two pieces of the puzzle with collide. With light sparks with their clicking and clanking.